is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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