this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
