I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
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That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
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I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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