what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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