Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How does one acquire holy water?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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