Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
