i just google imaged poop.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
