My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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