it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
