I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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