the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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