Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What a dumb baby whore.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
