you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
