I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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