I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Im part way to drunk.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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