I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize