found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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