It's Friday. Sex?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
