big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
