Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
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well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
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This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment