you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished