Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .