Small penises have feelings too.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
