I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My pussy is not your playground.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize