Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
