I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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