Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
