i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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