No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't