Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
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Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog