another moral hangover. fuck.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he was CRYING into my vagina
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We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
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God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.