wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.