with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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