the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I need moral support for this bender
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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