thus making me awesome and them whores
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
