so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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