Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Alive.
So much puke
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
