Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
