Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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