I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
