Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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