Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize