new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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