Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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