After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
