It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
