did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You are a genius and a whore.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
