HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
it's like heaven, but drunker
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
