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• (214): View more from Texas

  ugly people sure do ruin things

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma

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• (512): View more from Texas

  when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses

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• (214): View more from Texas

  look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.

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