1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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