Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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