Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!

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  (417): I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon! http://tfl.nu/qgqr
  Replies (20) Good night (4874) Bad night (673)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.

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  (+31): I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew. http://tfl.nu/u42t
  Replies (14) Good night (2972) Bad night (1151)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game

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  (240): We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game http://tfl.nu/lfk3
  Replies (8) Good night (785) Bad night (6394)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.

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  (484): New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes. http://tfl.nu/xws1
  Replies (47) Good night (4735) Bad night (1588)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  How did your new apartment party go last night?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.

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  (812): How did your new apartment party go last night? (219): I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in. http://tfl.nu/upa6
  Replies (3) Good night (3903) Bad night (832)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...

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  (905): oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"... http://tfl.nu/xa6k
  Replies (18) Good night (4992) Bad night (1998)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"

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  (831): I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency" http://tfl.nu/zhku
  Replies (9) Good night (3998) Bad night (958)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"

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  (910): You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?" http://tfl.nu/kb6v
  Replies (12) Good night (5706) Bad night (944)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.

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  (613): you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there. http://tfl.nu/1v1m
  Replies (4) Good night (3307) Bad night (817)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover

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  (613): Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover http://tfl.nu/cy4m
  Replies (5) Good night (3233) Bad night (1543)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.

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  (613): I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously. http://tfl.nu/6j29
  Replies (3) Good night (1809) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.

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  (509): Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away. http://tfl.nu/1jys
  Replies (6) Good night (2229) Bad night (837)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special

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  (713): There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special http://tfl.nu/6w5y
  Replies (5) Good night (1612) Bad night (517)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.

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  (215): bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista. http://tfl.nu/gval
  Replies (12) Good night (1045) Bad night (529)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.

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  (312): I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will. http://tfl.nu/1dfb
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (315)

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