Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job