Texts From Last Night

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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Now it won't go down.

  (512): View more from Texas

  You've got a gift.

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  (204): Now it won't go down. (512): You've got a gift. http://tfl.nu/m37i
  Replies (2) Good night (1415) Bad night (542)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  dollar beers will do that to you.

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  (630): I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning. (1-630): dollar beers will do that to you. http://tfl.nu/e57v
  Replies (26) Good night (2673) Bad night (643)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out

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  (205): soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out http://tfl.nu/q1wd
  Replies (15) Good night (5304) Bad night (836)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?

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  (908): he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one? http://tfl.nu/z1d1
  Replies (84) Good night (940) Bad night (6042)
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  (718): View more from New York

  he told me my vagina needed a tic tac

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  (718): he told me my vagina needed a tic tac http://tfl.nu/0ll3
  Replies (34) Good night (863) Bad night (9057)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis

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  (267): I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis http://tfl.nu/zmb9
  Replies (21) Good night (1097) Bad night (3593)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3

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  (484): drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3 http://tfl.nu/7aa9
  Replies (5) Good night (3668) Bad night (816)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.

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  (705): Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night. http://tfl.nu/58lp
  Replies (18) Good night (1082) Bad night (4074)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.

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  (305): Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978. http://tfl.nu/6hzj
  Replies (4) Good night (752) Bad night (350)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.

  (858): View more from California

  I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.

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  (224): I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman. (858): I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect. http://tfl.nu/7efm
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (417)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?

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  (901): So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back? http://tfl.nu/odpa
  Replies (8) Good night (597) Bad night (1100)
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  (925): View more from California

  So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever

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  (925): So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever http://tfl.nu/x5gy
  Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (681)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?

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  (701): I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up? http://tfl.nu/bx4r
  Replies (3) Good night (652) Bad night (342)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...

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  (202): He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning... http://tfl.nu/6uz6
  Replies (3) Good night (379) Bad night (656)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.

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  (813): I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom. http://tfl.nu/xrv4
  Replies (6) Good night (259) Bad night (702)

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