would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
