May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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