I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
