Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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