Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
