I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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