I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just fell off a train. Bad.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
