Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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