May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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