I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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