I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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