I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize