let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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