We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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