I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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